As the decades wash over me, leaving rock pools of memory, I find I no longer crave the raging ocean — The Med is just a salty lake, a puddle. That was what I used to think. I grew up in Northwest England — the Irish Sea lapped the shoreline of my youth. Hardly a raging ocean, no Mauian breakers. But it was tidal. Summer holidays in Wales meant scrabbling down…

The album tracks by favorite bands that offered an intro to a different era — You rush home from the record store, the latest acquisition clutched to your chest, willing each intervening bus stop to be empty and make the antsy journey shorter. Ensconced within the aural sanctum of your bedroom, you pause and take a breath, before reverentially placing the needle at the outer…

The high-fun story of the monochrome plantigrade who bamboozled the cops — Panda sits at a bar in Westward Ho!, quietly munching on a filling stalk of Phyllostachys. He’s almost down to the last leaf. Bartender and patrons eye one another nervously. They know what’s coming next. Panda doesn’t seem to be packing, though. There’s nothing but a bamboo cane propped against…

This is not such a dumb question as it seems — I slip silently into the room while everyone sleeps, and pluck a jewel from its display case. A split second later, a replica lies in its place. Made from entirely different material, but indistinguishable to the naked eye. Just as swiftly I exit, without triggering the alarms. No one knows…

Up in the C-suite with my bullshit detector… — No one has ever read the whole of a company’s mission statement from start to finish. However concise it might be, by the end of the first paragraph — sorry, bullet point, as in firing squad — the eyes begin to glaze over, the sick starts to rise through the…

A random playlist gave me an insight into what binds my tastes together — No offence to those who look forward to the seasonal data dump, but I really don’t see the point of the tirelessly trumpeted Spotify Wrapped. …

Hi, Rui. Good points about this really being about readers - who make up the vast majority of users. …

As approved by leading scientists! — For much of the world, festive family gatherings are just around the corner. In the States, the calendar of traditional blowouts began a couple of weeks back already. Picture or recall the scene: the meal is over; every pot, pan and dish in the designated clan venue has been used…

I never feel as alive or as contemplative as when staring into and stoking flames — With both hands I seize a hunk of wood the size of a footstool, and fling it in the fire. Which roars in delight at this new offering, swallows it down into its flaming maw, leaps higher, eager for more. We prance about the pyre like fevered dervishes, zealous acolytes…