All great points, Amy.

I was hopeless at sports at school. We had rugby in the (wet, cold, muddy) winter (which I loathed with a passion), cricket in the summer, which I loved, hopelessly and unrequitedly.

Then we got the option to do field hockey in the winter, which I turned out to be OK at. As there were so few of us, I made the team (I think we all did, to be honest) and we played against other local schools. We usually lost, as we weren't very good, and nor was our coach, truth be told.

But one time we came up against an even worse team. We were 4-0 up by half time. I called over from right back to my centre back 'They haven't even got over the halfway line - LOL!', or words to that effect. Loud enough for opposing parents and players to have heard (though that wasn't my intention - I was shouting because he was 20 yards away).

At half time I got an absolute bollocking from our normally mild-mannered coach, Spook, the history teacher, for my unsportsmanlike conduct.

That's all I remember from hockey, really.