I try my best, in what I believe is now officially my middle age, not to be a grumpy old man, and bang on about my pet peeves, but...

Shoe sizes around the globe!!!! Why????

Why can we all not just measure our feet from heel to toe in centimetres? I think that according to the panglobal labels they have in footwear at maybe Decathlon there seems to be a sensible, standard-bearing nation that does this. Vietnam perhaps?

All the rest is an arbitrary mish-mash of numbers.

I'd even allow Yanks and Brexiters to measure their clod-hoppingly ignorant paws in imperial if it would get them aboard the scheme - at least that would allow simply conversion by mental arithmetic or - who am I kidding? - smartphone calculator.

But I am probably an Internationale-singing cultural Marxist for even suggesting such standardisation.