I've always found 'bromeliad' a really suspicious name. It doesn't sound like it should be a plant. And those epiphytes don't really act like plants either. I suspect bromeliads are, in fact, alien lifeforms, slowly and silently observing our planet.

With wackily unsubstantiated beliefs like that, I probably have a good chance of being picked as Head of the Project 2025 Department of Plants.

Be very afraid!