Right? It's so unfair. Why don't I get to nonchalantly say 'I vaselined snakes at the Playboy mansion and dug my own shallow grave' over nibbles at parties?

Although I did translate the pilot episode script for an as-yet unmade vampire series set in the rave scene of millennial Barcelona a while back.

I'll be dining out on that if the producers manage to raise the money and it's the next Netflix hit.