This would elicit the following rant from me:

"I have never used an emoji in my life, and never plan to. If I do, please shoot me. Human civilisation developed spoken and written language for a reason, rather than sticking to crude representations of buffalo daubed on cave walls in our own blood and excrement. Perhaps the next step in our regression will be to communicate solely by scratching our armpits and pointing. Harrumph!"

Which would break the ice, I guess...